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...--The line to greet the President at the head table at the Capital Hilton was a breach of Alfalfa protocol, but was the latest reflection of the new President’s star power. Even Fred Malek, the McCain’s campaign’s national finance chairman, joined the queue. The well-wishers KEPT BUMPING THE CHAIR OF SENATOR McCAIN, who was on the floor, two seats away from the head table. ...
--Chief Justice Roberts absolved himself of the botched oath-giving by offering to swear in Alfalfa’s new president, then doing so WITH GIANT CUE CARDS.
--From excerpts of the President’s remarks released by the White House: “This dinner began almost one hundred years ago as a way to celebrate the birthday of General Robert E. Lee. If he were here with us tonight, the General would be 202 years old -- and very confused. … Now, this hasn’t been reported yet, but it was actually Rahm’s idea to do the swearing-in ceremony again. Of course, for Rahm, EVERY day is a swearing-in ceremony. But don't believe what you read. Rahm Emanuel is a real sweetheart. No, it's true. Every week the guy takes a little time away to give back to the community. Just last week he was at a local school, teaching profanity to poor children.”
--The President’s great unreleased lines: “I’m a casual admirer of Abraham Lincoln. … [He should have seen] my inaugural: He never drew crowds like that. … [To Senator Lieberman] No hard feelings because of the election. My door is always open. Feel free to drop by ANY SATURDAY AFTERNOON. … [To Gov. Palin] I never expected you to be PALLING AROUND with THIS crowd. I want to congratulate you on your Golden Globe for ‘30 Rock.’ …. [To Vernon Jordan] Just because a guy can give great speeches doesn’t mean he’s going to be a great president. … I see Chief Justice Roberts is here to administer my daily oath of office. … [On the similarity between Cheney and Biden] Dick Cheney is a man of few words. Joe Biden is also vice president. … [On the delay in getting a dog] The labradoodle we picked has some problems with back taxes. … [On ‘a better way for our time’ than blaming each other and passing the buck] I ask you to summon that spirit once more, and make future generations proud of what we did WHEN WE WERE TESTED BY HISTORY.” ...
--Sen. Kit Bond (R-Mo.), the new Alfalfa president: “ ....If our president didn't know then, he sure does now: Joe Biden is the reason Amtrak invented the quiet car." ...